I swear they are trying to kill me…

A Memorable Neighbor… or Keep Your Crazy Away From My Kid!

So… this week’s Mama Kat’s writing prompts made me laugh… There’s so much shit I can put out there, but this one especially made me chuckle. A Memorable Neighbor. For those of you who have been following for a while, you know I have been having troubles with the woman across the street. She is [...]

Categories: Drama, FAIL, I hate people., I swear they are trying to kill me..., Rants, this shit can only happen to me! | 13 Comments

Bus stop drama…

Ok, so MOMS!!  How many of you are friends with or “friendly” with the parents of your kids friends??  Do you think you have to be friends or “friendly” with ALL of them?  Cause I’m about to call this bitch out… My son’s so-called “best friend” is the boy who lives across the street.  They [...]

Categories: Drama, FAIL, I swear they are trying to kill me..., Rants, this shit can only happen to me! | 2 Comments

Don’t anybody try to make plans with me in advance, chances are I’ll have to cancel.

It’s ok, that I go out tomorrow night, right? No.  I’ve got people coming for corals and shit tomorrow. What the fuck do you mean you’ve got people coming? When were you planning on telling me you were having people come? Don’t be so dramatic. I’m not being dramatic! I have to clean this pigsty [...]

Categories: I swear they are trying to kill me..., Rants, Things my husband does to me..., this shit can only happen to me! | 4 Comments

When I get so old that I get annoyed at young families for making a little noise in the movies, please shoot me.

Dear Old People Sitting in Front of Us in the Movie Theater, FUCK YOU!! I can’t help the fact that my 2 year old has to tell me that she has to go potty. You have no right to complain. If you’re going to sit near a family with small children in a movie, you [...]

Categories: FAIL, I swear they are trying to kill me..., Rants, this shit can only happen to me! | Tags: | 1 Comment

Stand back!! I have a uniboob and I’m not afraid to use it!!

Quitting smoking was the SECOND hardest thing I’ve done in my life.  Losing the weight I put on after I quit is the first. So, if any of my Facebook friends have been paying attention, I’ve been making it very public that I am fat and need to lose some weight.  I’ve put on some [...]

Categories: I swear they are trying to kill me..., Randomness..., this shit can only happen to me!, Weightloss | 5 Comments

Hotel-ing it.

Every year for the past 10 years my husband and I have gone to Florida to visit his parents. (except for the two years they moved back up here, but that’s another blog post.)  More often than not, we jumped in the car and drove the length of the eastern seaboard usually making the drive [...]

Categories: FAIL, I swear they are trying to kill me..., this shit can only happen to me! | Tags: , | 4 Comments

Kid randomness…

“No Kayla you can’t have the nunchuck,” my seven year old scolds his two year old sister. Me:”Just let her have the nunchuck for Pete’s sake!” Him: “Ok, Kayla, but if you break it, it’s going to be $30 out of your allowance.” I wonder when he’s going to get it… HE doesn’t even get [...]

Categories: I swear they are trying to kill me..., my kids are FREAKING HILARIOUS, Randomness..., Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Picky, picky…

I think I might have the pickiest eater on earth.  My son is the biggest pain the the behind when it comes to food.  He takes an American Cheese sandwich with him to school everyday.  No crusts.  If there is even a spec of brown from the crust of the bread on there, he will [...]

Categories: Book Club, I swear they are trying to kill me..., SV Mom's Group | 3 Comments

Crap-f-ing-tastic!!

For anyone who hasn’t seen this…  This is why Mommy needs to be better potty trained…  I was in the bathroom.  My daughter was alone in my bedroom.  I come out of the bathroom and find this: Sorry, the picture quality isn’t that great, but that’s my Blackberry for ya!  I swear when’s she’s old [...]

Categories: FAIL, I swear they are trying to kill me..., Parenting FAIL, this shit can only happen to me! | 1 Comment

Oh shit! The baby learned a new word!!

This is a quote by an unknown author that I came across years ago and have since posted in this most glittery type on my MySpace page. No truer words have been spoken… Now, I have a foul mouth.  I know this, I admit it, hell, I’m freaking proud of it!   My favorite curse word [...]

Categories: I swear they are trying to kill me..., my kids are FREAKING HILARIOUS, this shit can only happen to me! | Tags: , | Leave a comment

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