Monthly Archives: February 2010

I need to join Snore-anon…

You know those Nyquil commercials they’ve been airing lately?  “For a better looking morning.” or some such shit…  You know how they show those ugly sick people snoring their brains out after taking Nyquil?  Yeah, I deal with this EVERY FUCKING NIGHT!  Not that my husband necessarily looks like that guy, but let me tell you, he snores like him.  And when he’s sick, he just doesn’t know how to cover that shit up.  We can be sleeping comfortably, facing each other and he’ll be dead asleep and suddenly, he’ll cough.  Right. On. Me. Ew.  And it’s not one of those little dainty coughs either.  It’s one of those lip flappin, spit filled sleep coughs that is so filled with germs I don’t know how I don’t get sick right on the spot.  Most nights are spent with the blanket positioned just so so that when he does cough it doesn’t go all over me.  Other nights I’m wide awake with the comforter in my hand using it as a shield every time he coughs.  I’d sleep with it over my head if it didn’t feel like I was going to suffocate in there. (I have a problem with that…)

Tonight however, I was awakened by a coughing baby, and after quieting her, I lie in bed hoping to fall back to sleep when this rip-roaring, ceiling tile rattling, wake the neighbors three doors down kind of snore comes out of my husband and now I am fully awake and cannot go back to sleep.

Thank hun.  Love you too.

Categories: I swear they are trying to kill me..., Things my husband does to me... | 3 Comments

This is why I shouldn’t be left alone with my thoughts…

So I was reading Barefootfoodie‘s blog today and she’s talking about how HS sucked for her because in her senior year we’ll say her interests went in a different direction. She mentioned how she could have been Katie Holmes and awkwardly married to Tom Cruise, yadda yadda yadda… (and I don’t even like Seinfield) Anyway she was talking about how her friend is now a famous rock star and suddenly the theme song to Barbie and the Rockers popped into my head. (this is where my stream of consciousness is really fucked up) Now if I’m dating myself, forgive me, but when I was a kid, Barbie and the Rockers were like the coolest thing! And they had a GREAT theme song “we’re Barbie and the rockers! We look so cool, we’re always in the groove.” and then there was some other stuff and then they said their names “Dee Dee and Diva too!” I never said my memory was completely intact! Jesus, give me a break!

Anyway, then I started thinking about my old dollhouse and I realized that I had the greatest dollhouse EVER!! It was totally AWESOME! Completely metal, with a front door that opened, and chimney that I constantly knocked off, and little plastic furniture that you could rearrange in any way you wanted. It's a crappy pic but it's all I could steal...  :)

Of course the rooms had pre-printed walls so you couldn’t like put the bathroom in the living room or the bedroom in the kitchen, it just wouldn’t go with the paper. I remember countless hours playing interior designer lining up the dinning room chairs (cause they ALWAYS fell down) and setting the refrigerator just so. I never had dolls that were the right size for the doll house tho. I remember playing with my Barbies (and the Rockers) and my brother’s GI Joe’s. (that relationship didn’t last long… Joe was just too short. I mean, he didn’t mind being boob height, but Barbie being a fickle bitch just wanted him to look her in the eye!)

So then I started wondering what the hell happened to that doll house and if it’s still somewhere in this house would my daughter like it…  so I do a search on ebay for “metal doll house” and look what I found… Isn’t it AWESOME!!  I’m so totally buying my kid a metal doll house…

Oh, and if you’ve never heard of Barefootfoodie before, you should check her out.  She’s absolutely FUCKING HYSTERICAL!!

Categories: Randomness... | Tags: , , | 2 Comments

I’m so freaking excited!!

So I’m FINALLY going to (sorta) start using the degree that took me four years to earn!! Thanks to my new friend Amy Oztan (@Selfishmom) I’m now a contributing writer for the NYC Mom’s Blog!! WOO HOO!! I wonder how that’s going to work tho, cause I don’t live in the city. I don’t go to the city EVER (well, I might now that I have this writing gig). I think I might be the only Long Island mom on this blog, but you know what? That’s probably a good thing…

So now as I await my TypePad invite, I’m going to read up on the content and see where I fit in. 🙂

Hopefully I don’t kill my kids during this lovely snow day!

Categories: Uncategorized | Leave a comment

UPS can kiss my ASS!!

I want to state this for the record.  I WILL NEVER USE UPS AS MY SHIPPING COMPANY AGAIN!!  And neither should you.  Here’s my problem peeps…

Hubby used to have a reptile business.  We used to breed and sell bearded dragons. You can probably see some of our dragons in website I just linked to…  So we recently closed up shop and gave our dragons to another breeder.  We had these cages is a shed in my backyard that we need to get rid of.  My husband sold them to some guy in Idaho for real cheap.  At first we didn’t want to ship them cause they’re like 50 pounds and would cost us and Idaho guy a fortune.  Well, Idaho guy found a middleman website with would ship our cages through UPS cheap.  Ok, cool.  No problem.

1/3/10 we get the cages packaged up and UPS comes to take them.  We thought they were packaged just fine, bubble wrap etc.

1/9/10 we get an email from UPS stating that there was an exception to our shipment


What the hell do you mean “merchandise discarded”? You just threw out my cage?? Without contacting me first?

1/11/10 we get an email stating:

Exception Reason: DAMAGE REPORTED

Claim under investigation… ok. Guess I’ll just wait and see what they come up with. I have to be covered for SOMETHING. Even if it’s just refunding me the shipping because THEY broke it and then THEY threw it out.

I called them the other day and they told me that I’m S.O.L. cause the cage was insufficiently packaged.  But how can they tell me the package was insufficiently packaged if they no longer have my package to prove it!??  Do they not want me to see how badly they destroyed the cage??  Are they hiding something??

So I get on Twitter (@mastermindmommy) and BLAST the shit out of them!  Do you know that within 5 seconds of tweeting them, someone from UPS contacts me on Twitter??  He gives me an email to follow up on my problem.

I send them the following email:

Hello this is an email in response to a conversation with ThomasAtUPS on twitter.  I am Mastermindmommy.  This is the tracking number for the package that was damaged and then thrown away.


My customer now wants a refund and I am without a cage.  It was a 36″ reptile cage wrapped in bubble wrap.  How it got damaged I have no idea.  Why it was just thrown away without anyone contacting me before hand, I don’t know.  How it got all the way to Spokane, WA before being broken, I don’t know.  Needless to say, I expected to be covered under whatever insurance UPS offers, but when I called this morning I was told that it was due to insufficient packaging and there was nothing UPS could do.  I am NOT happy about this.

If there is anything that can be done, I would appreciate it.

Thank you,
Jennifer Miller

They respond with the following:

Hi Jennifer:
My apologies for the frustrations you’ve experienced with this shipment.

I contacted our Corporate Customer Relations team for help. This group is essentially our SWAT team for special customer issues. You will hear back from a UPS team member.

Debbie Curtis-Magley
UPS Public Relations

Ok, cool.  SWAT’s on their way.  Here’s what I get…

From: <>
Subject: Re: UPS
Date: Friday, January 22, 2010, 3:35 PM

Ms. Miller,
Thank you for contacting us about this issue.  I want to make sure I have the correct tracking number. The tracking number that you provided was addressed to ####### is this correct?  You stated in your email that the damaged item was a cage.  Our damage report is stating the contents was glass.  The reference number is saying “cage 2”.  Was this item made of glass?  All claims are handled with the shipper who is ALL PRO P2P.  You must contact them about this claim. I am truly sorry about this situation.  Please follow up with All Pro about the damaged item. You may contact me if you have any additional questions. All Pro may contact UPS as well to discuss this claim.  Again, thank you for notifying us about this issue.

Best regards,

Teri Miller
UPS Corporate Customer Relations

GREAT!  So now I have to go through the middleman??  So needless to say, I’m still waiting.  I’ve contacted the discount shipper who credited me my shipping charges, but I’m still waiting to hear if UPS is  gonna man up and take responsibility.

My customer is being really good about all this too.  I just sent him back what I got from the middleman and hopefully UPS will come through and I can refund him his money.  It’s not my fault they broke the cage and then threw it out…  I will not be the one to lose out on this.

So kiddies, the moral of the story here today is, DON’T USE UPS CAUSE THEY WILL BREAK YOUR STUFF AND THROW IT AWAY!!

Don’t even get me started on the time my UPS driver left one of my lizards on the truck and it almost died!!  My customer back then was not as understanding as Idaho guy is.

Will keep you all abreast of the situation, but as it stands right now, I’m gonna be out some $$ soon and IT’S ALL UPS’s FAULT!!

Categories: FAIL, I swear they are trying to kill me..., Uncategorized | 4 Comments

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