Monthly Archives: March 2011

A Memorable Neighbor… or Keep Your Crazy Away From My Kid!

So… this week’s Mama Kat’s writing prompts made me laugh… There’s so much shit I can put out there, but this one especially made me chuckle.

Mama’s Losin’ It
A Memorable Neighbor.

For those of you who have been following for a while, you know I have been having troubles with the woman across the street. She is the mother of my son’s “best friend” and we have issues…

Well, last week those issues escalated and we are now not speaking to each other and our boys’ relationship is at stake.
Lemme ‘splain…

Picture it if you will…

It’s a chilly Monday morning and I’m standing at the bus stop with The Boy.  We are the only ones there and it’s starting to rain.  Boy gets on the bus, I make my way home.  That afternoon, it’s raining still and again, I am the only one on the bus stop.  The bus pulls up and opens its doors.  That’s when I notice “Mary” step into my line of view to retrieve her son.  I then turn my head and look down the row of windows and notice one of the girls that The Boy sits with is in the window crying.  I ask little Tracey why she is crying, but obviously she can’t answer me through the window.  The Boy gets off the bus and we have this exchange:

Me: Hi.  Why is Tracey crying?

Boy: Because Vinnie (her cousin) is going to be reported.

Me: Why is Vinnie going to be reported and who is going to report him?

Boy: Because he called Johan an idiot.  Big Jonathan (the fifth grade bully and self-appointed bus safety) is going to report him.

Now…  imagine the look on your face when you hear that.  Yeah, that’s the one. With the eyebrow going up…  Uh huh…  Cause, why would Vinnie get reported just cause he called Johan an idiot??  There are worse things that can happen on the bus to get reported for, right?  EXACTLY!  Now imagine if you will that you are walking along a busy road while listening to this story so you have to watch where you are going, right?  And imagine that “Mary” is walking along in front of you so while you are looking where you are going you are forced to look kinda at her cause she’s in front of you.  And at that moment that you are walking along, listening to this story about Vinnie getting reported for calling Johan an idiot, and making that face and kinda looking at Mary who is walking in front of you so you don’t walk into her, Mary turns to look at you.  Now you don’t really see her cause you are listening to the story and trying to not get run over or walk into her and when she smiles at you, your expression doesn’t really change until at the last moment you try to smile at her but it’s too late!!  She has taken that look on your face as meant for her!

The next morning, she is not at the bus stop.  That afternoon, she is there, but won’t look at me.  I say hello and she doesn’t respond.  I’ve brought Little Miss with me so I grab up my baby and walk right up to her.

Me: Okay, so what did I do now?

Her: You made an ugly face at me, I don’t like it. (or something like that, I couldn’t get the whole thing in her broken english/spanish rant)

Me: What are you talking about?  When did I do that?

Her: Yesterday. I don’t like it.  Okay?

Me: What?  I didn’t even see you yesterday.

Her: Blah, blah blah (I honestly can’t remember what she said here, probably nothing that made any sense , but I’m sure it ended with ) Okay?

Me: I don’t understand!  I didn’t even SEE you yesterday.

She then proceeds to tell me that I gave her a dirty look yesterday and that I don’t really like her, that she can FEEEEEEEEL it,  and that she likes honest people.

Me: What? So you don’t think I’m honest?

Her: I think you are temperamental and two-faced. Okay?

TEMPERAMENTAL AND TWO-FACED??  WHAT. THE. FUCK??  I’m not the one who automatically assumes that because I was looking in her general direction with a certain look on my face that that expression was meant for her and that I don’t like her. (in all honesty, I don’t like her, but I didn’t DIS-like her (too much) until the bitch called me dishonest, two-faced and temperamental! I DID tolerate her so that our boys could be friends.)

If you ask me, I think that either menopause or the isolation she experiences during the day (she doesn’t drive, doesn’t speak English, and thus hardly EVER leaves the house) is making her crazy and she’s taking it out on me!!  How come it always has to be about her??  How come she couldn’t turn around to me and be like “Why are you making that face?” ?  No!  She had to immediately jump to the conclusion that I really don’t like her and get my jollies by making faces at her.

This past Monday, my husband was home sick and I was late getting to the bus stop, so The Boy walked home with Mary and her son.  I dutifully stopped my car next to them, rolled down my window and said “Thank you” to her for grabbing him.  Whether she did or not, I couldn’t say, but it was the right thing to do.  You think that yesterday morning she could have offered me a “hello”?  Nope.  Bitch shot me a dirty look cause her son left her and came over to me and my son.

When I talk to my husband or my closest friends and family about this, they roll their eyes at me (as I’m sure you’re doing too, in between big fat belly laughs) and tell me to let it go.  That she’s not worth all the trouble.  But the issue I have is that I. DID. NOTHING. WRONG!!  I honestly didn’t see her looking at me.  I’m sorry if I couldn’t change my facial expression to suit her fast enough!  Now what do I do when my son wants to have a playdate with his friend?  I don’t think she’ll fly with it and I certainly don’t want her brand of crazy around my boy!  He gets enough crazy from me, he doesn’t need any more from any body else!!

So, we haven’t spoken since last week and yesterday morning I walked home with her in front of me and I made faces at her all the way home, giggling the entire time.   And in the afternoon, I had a perfectly wonderful conversation…  with her husband.  🙂  Take that bitch!

Next year, my son is NOT riding the bus, just so I don’t have to deal with her shit!

This is an original ROSCMM post. All opinions in this post come from Jennifer herself unless otherwise noted. All names have been changed to protect the innocent and the moronic.  This post has no compensation level as I did not receive anything for writing this post,(visit my Full Disclosure page for more details) and no, you can not steal my content unless you specifically ask me for it first. It’s called copyright, yo.

Copyright 2011 MastermindMommy

Categories: Drama, FAIL, I hate people., I swear they are trying to kill me..., Rants, this shit can only happen to me! | 13 Comments

A Sweet Revolution!

For those of you who don’t know…  I’m on a quest to lose some weight for the two weddings I have to attend this year.  That, and I’m just fat and can’t breathe…  So, of course I’ve found that losing weight is one of the hardest things I’ve ever tried to do with the exception of quitting smoking (five years this October, YAY ME!).  I’ve discovered that I have absolutely NO drive to get off my butt to exercise nor do I have any will power to resist the late  night cravings of ice cream and chocolate.  I guess I shouldn’t be complaining about how I’m not losing any weight since I’m really not doing anything to help myself. (Actually, I am helping myself, to whatever I want…  and lots of it.)

Enter Tiffany at Bloggy Moms. I haven’t been blogging for very long and I know when I first started, I signed up for all these groups including Bloggy Moms.  So her email comes with a request for bloggers to try and review a no calorie sweetener.  Hmm…  food??  I’M IN!!

Now I’ve tried a few artificial sweeteners, and all of them have left me with a bad taste in my mouth, quite literally.  My mom has been using one particular sweetener for YEARS.  I always ask her how she can stand the aftertaste and her response is usually, “You get used to it after a while.”  In my opinion if there’s something about a product that you have to “get used to” it’s not worth the effort.  I’m looking for something that tastes like sugar, can be used in my coffee and my cereal without any aftertaste, and won’t give me cancer in the next fifty years.  Is that too much to ask??

I think I have found the answer!

Ideal Sweetener

Ideal sweetener is not like other sweeteners.  According to the Ideal website, “Xylitol is a naturally occurring sugar alcohol that can be found in many fruits and vegetables and is even produced by the human body as part of the normal metabolism of glucose.  With its low glycemic index, xylitol is a great alternative for people with diabetes since it is metabolized independently of insulin. ”  According to my taste-buds, “WOW, NO AFTERTASTE!!”  Oh, and it’s good for your teeth too!  Read about the benefits of Xylitol for your teeth here.   But its not good for pets, especially dogs.

Ideal comes in packets like the other guys and also in bags for use in cooking and baking.  It comes in white, brown and a confectioner’s variety!  In fact, on the back of the bag of brown is a great recipe for Oatmeal Raisin Cookies.  It called for both the white and the brown,so I grabbed up my three year old and we proceeded to make a huge mess, oh and some cookies too. YUM!!

Mommy, I want to mix!


Yes, I let her lick the beaters...

Into the oven!

The finished product.

The cookies were really good!!  I replaced the raisins with dried cranberries and my family went NUTS for them!  But the really convincing factor was when my mom used it in Grammy Smith’s Scotch Bars.  Mmmmmm, mmmm!!  I don’t think Grammy could have tasted the difference herself! (sorry, no pics of that, they went so fast I couldn’t stop chewing to snap any!)

Ideal sweetener is the perfect artificial sweetener to replace some of the sugar in your diet. I now use it everywhere I would normally use sugar, coffee, cereal, coffee, fresh fruit, coffee, and all of my baking and cooking. (Did I mention coffee?)

There’s a store locator on the Ideal website so you can find a store near you that sells it. So give it a try. You won’t be disappointed.











This is an original ROSCMM post. The product mentioned in this post was provided to me free of charge (or at a considerable discount not available to the public) for the purposes of writing this post. All opinions expressed in this post are my own and are not a result of any compensation or free products received (although they are both openly accepted.) and no, you can not steal my content unless you specifically ask me for it first. It’s called copyright, yo.

Copyright 2011 MastermindMommy

Categories: Reviews, Sometimes I amaze even myself., Weightloss | 1 Comment

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