Good morning… It’s about 4am and I am in my usual spot at this time. Awake and in front of the computer…
I have to be at swim signups at 8am so of course my internal clock is screwing with me. Woke up at 2am. Doesn’t help that I fell asleep before my kids at 10-ish but that has everything to do with the fact that I can not read lying down and I simply cannot get in to the new Odd Thomas book my Dean Koontz. But I digress…
I am up almost every night. I’m usually worrying about SOMETHING. Money, kids, husband, business, friends, blah.
Here’s my new worry.
And tell me if you’ve heard this one before…
I start a new job on Sunday. And actual go somewhere, do something, answer to someone kind of job. I’m super excited, but I’m also nervous and scared. I’ve been out of the workforce for almost 10 years. Yes, I’ve had my Tastefully Simple business for 6 of those 10 years, but I don’t answer to anyone except me (and sometimes my husband) when it comes to the business. And I can take a day off if I want to and not feel like I’m letting someone down in the process.
That’s not even what I’m worried about. The job is really no big deal. I’ll be a receptionist at my daughter’s dance studio for a couple of hours on the weekends. I’ll get to answer phones, answer questions, take payments, and shmooze with the dance moms.
When I do the bulk of my business. When I get to spend family time with my kids and husband. When my kids have birthday parties and swim lessons and religion classes and other extra-curricular activities.
I had to reschedule four parties. I have one that just will not budge too, so I have to see if my new boss will be flexible with me so I can do it, or I have to find another consultant to do the party. My hostess is the mother of one of my best clients. I don’t want to give up that party.
In all honesty, I’m not really all that worried about that either. Here’s what really bothers me…
“You mean I’m not going to see you ALL WEEKEND??” my Big Boy whined…
“It’s not all weekend, baby. It’s only for a couple of hours on Saturday and Sunday. You won’t even notice I’m gone.”
“Oh Mom, I’m going to MISS YOU!”
Break my heart why don’tcha??
I’ve got three birthday parties this month and one next month that I can’t take my kids to because I will have to work. Hubs will have to take them. And I won’t have any full uninterrupted days of just the four of us unless one of us takes a day off or the dance studio is closed.
I addressed this concern with my husband before I accepted the position. His words?
“You wanted this. Now you have to do what you have to do to make it work.”
He’s right. I did want this. I gave my resume to the director because I wanted to work for her. Now I have to deal with the fact that when she needs me is on the weekends. In this day and age, I should be happy to even have something that I can call a job when so many others are without and can’t seem to find anything. I should be happy that we are blessed enough that I have been able to stay home with my children for this long.
I guess I’ll figure it out. It can’t be THAT big of a deal. And we need the steady income.
I’m just nervous…
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