I’d rather not do that again, thank you…

This post is inspired by Mama Kat’s Writing Workshop.

4.) What happened in 2010 that you’d rather not repeat?

Holy Shit, there are so many things that happened last year that I would totally NOT do again…  let me count the ways…

7. Going to visit my in-laws in Florida with my husband, two kids and a dog.

I hate that drive, I HATE that drive, I hate THAT drive, I hate that DRIVE, I HATE THAT DRVE…  Did I mention, I don’t care for that drive.  And making it with a potty training three year old, a overactive and whiny eight year old, a puppy and a sick husband.  NO FUCKING WAY!  Ahem…  moving on…

6. Taking my kids to the beach and nearly having my bathing suit ripped off by the waves.

That is not a pretty site.  Trust me.  I had sand in places I never knew sand could get!  I’ll take the pool over the beach ANYDAY!!

5. Going to the movies and getting into a fight with the old farts in front of us.

See this post.  I’m not going into detail here.  That shit still makes my hackles stand up!

4. Finding out that I was “Unfriended” by my best friend in high school…

Another one that still upsets me.  But not as much as those crotchety old people.  🙂

3. Potty training

I started potty training Little Miss in January of 2010.  A full year later, we’re not done, but we’ve come a long way…

2. Get a puppy

Of course, now that I don’t have to clean up baby piss as much as I used to, now I have to clean up puppy piss.  WHOSE IDEA WAS IT TO GET THIS FUCKING DOG??  I’m almost done with my last kid, now I gotta start all over with a dog??

And the #1 incident that happened in 2010 that I’d rather not repeat is…

TA DA!!

Taking my three year old to the emergency room to get five stitches in her head!!

Yes, you read that right…  Little Miss was where she wasn’t supposed to be, teetering at the top of the two stairs that lead to our den, and she fell and hit the book case at the bottom!!  I have never seen so much blood!!  I got the bleeding to stop and then realized that she’s probably going to need stitches.  I called my husband, he didn’t answer.  Fucker.  I called my best friend, the nurse, she was sleeping from working the night before.  I called the doctor’s office, they said to go to the ER.  I called my dad.  He met me there.  Thanks Dad.  ❤

Got to the ER, and Little Miss was running around like she owned the fucking place.  If it wasn’t for the gaping hole in her head and the blood all over her and me, you’d never even know she was hurt!  Three trips to the bathroom.  Hogging the toys in the waiting room.  Perfectly fine…  I, on the other hand, aged about ten years, and needed a good shot of something, whether it was Jack or fucking Zanax, I’m not sure…

I watched as they put my baby in a papoose to hold her down and she was so good.  The doctor numbed the area and proceeded to put in FIVE stitches.  (maybe she coulda used six, but I’m no expert…)

And there you have it…  the top seven things that happened in 2010 that I’d rather not repeat.

Feel free to send samples of Zanax and or Jack.  🙂

 

This is an original ROSCMM post. All opinions in this post come from Jennifer herself unless otherwise noted. All names have been changed to protect the innocent and the moronic.  This post has no compensation level as I did not receive anything for writing this post,(visit my Full Disclosure page for more details) and no, you can not steal my content unless you specifically ask me for it first. It’s called copyright, yo.

Copyright 2011 MastermindMommy

Categories: FAIL, Rants | 2 Comments

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2 thoughts on “I’d rather not do that again, thank you…

  1. LMAO I think I need to double up on the Zoloft just after reading your post. LOL 😉 I can’t handle long car rides beyond 5 hours. I start flipping out. Old people need a good telling off every now and then. Just because they’ve been on the planet longer doesn’t give them the right to act like jackholes. A couple of years ago, I was unfriended by my in-laws on FB. Long story there, but it still really hurt. I am so surprised that my youngest daughter hasn’t needed stitches in her head yet. That child is such a dare devil!

    Visiting here from Mama Kats and I am so glad I did. 🙂

  2. Boy that story on your daughter was harrowing… Glad she’s alright and I believe you are too.
    Hang in there. You’ll have a great year.
    Stopped by from MamaKat’s Writers Workshop to read your selection, say hello and wish you a very happy 2011!
    Best,
    Elizabeth

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